Friday, January 17, 2014

Life in Germany


It has been over a year now since I first moved to northern Germany – open-minded, plan-less, and without having any idea of what to expect from the country. Now, here I sit, perhaps a bit less open-minded, still plan-less and directionless, but now with a pretty good idea of what one can expect from Germany and the German people. I feel that this would be a good time to make note of some of the differences and oddities that I have observed in this strange land. I originally created this document for the purpose of having something to look back on and have a laugh over years from now. Since you are reading this, I have apparently decided that it turned out to be a beautiful work of literary art worth sharing. :) It is quite a lengthy document so feel free to read it one piece at a time or to pick out the parts that you find most interesting! Also, please make your way down to the bottom of the page and leave a comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

I continue to learn more about this place every day, and to be amazed and amused. Sometimes in a positive and admiring way, and other times in a frustrated, criticizing, missing my American normalcy kind of way.  Most, if not all of these things have probably been written about by other people before. And in actuality, I may have even read some of those articles before. However, these sorts of cultural differences and nuances can sometimes take on a different meaning once you have experienced them for yourself…and been stuck there, in that situation, with no choice but to keep experiencing it, and come to terms with it. Nevertheless, I hope that reading about my observations will give you some sort of insight or idea into how everyday life goes here. Now is probably a good time to note that my experiences with Germany are for the most part limited to the Bremen area, in the north of the country, and that I fully understand that many things cannot be generalized to refer to all of Germany, or all Germans. Also, I have no intention to offend anyone. Rather, I simply wish to document the information that I have gathered through completely unscientific methods: my personal and perhaps occasionally biased opinions and observations. With that said, if you are truly offended by what little-old-me thinks and notices… stop reading. And grow up.




1-      Friendliness
2-      Health
3-      Food
4-      Restaurants
5-      Traditions
6-      Punctuality
7-      Transportation System
8-      Bikes
9-      Language
10-   Booze
11-   Products
12-   “Things”
13-   Quiet Time
14-   House Shoes
15-   Save the Planet!
16-   Doors
17-   Driving
18-   Traffic Lights
19-   Crime & Weapons
20-   Lines
21-   Work vs. Life
22-   Water
23-   Kids
24-   Plan EVERYTHING
25-   Space
26-   Public Property
27-   Dogs
28-   Pedestrians
29-   Cancer Sticks
30-   What is Germany Made of?
31-   Hosts
32-   Safety
33-   Bottle Opener
34-   Sexuality
35-   Education



1-Friendliness
I have often been asked “What is the biggest difference that you have found?” and my answer to this question has not changed throughout my year here. This difference would be the friendliness of the people. It may be useful to note that as I write this, I am sitting at my home, by myself, on a Saturday night. I do this relatively often. It’s not my loving husband’s fault – people need their lives saved at all hours of the day and all days of the week, and I’m sure he would rather be here than working. What surprises me about this situation is that I have been here for over a year, and still haven’t found friends that I could be spending this time with. I’m not an introverted person, and I’m open-minded about new people and new things. I have made a few friends, whom I do enjoy spending time with, when such an occasion may arise. However, I obviously haven’t made enough, since most of the invitations we send out end up declined, and we definitely send out more invitations than we receive. For whatever reason, I haven’t found those people yet that would say “Oh, you have no plans tonight? I’ll stop by and hang out for a bit!” or “Why don’t you come along with me for the night?”

The fact is that German people have invisible walls protecting them from … friendship. In general, they are not quick to be friendly with people. Polite yes, but friendly no. You have to find a way to get past this (metaphorical) wall first. If you have a mutual friend, or some other sort of “in,” then they are much more likely to unlock the door in the wall for you, or at least give you directions to where that door might be located. However, if you don’t have an “in” then you probably have to spend a lot of time climbing over, or breaking through this wall in some way. Once a friendship is formed, Germans make great, loyal friends (I am told). That point is difficult to get to.  In discussing this with an American friend once, he was convinced that this problem would not exist for him because he is so outgoing and makes friends easily.  However, I am convinced that his personality and intentions wouldn’t matter, because the native people here have their ways that they are set in. Sure, you might be able to have a brief, friendly conversation with, for example the person serving you day after day at the bakery, but to me this is more of a showing of politeness rather than true friendliness.

This friendliness issue affects life on an everyday basis. It has an effect on the atmosphere and energy that I feel around me, and on the energy that I give back. For the first several months that I lived here I would smile at random people that I passed on the sidewalk. Most people would do a double-take, and often give a confused look back to me. It was almost as if people were actually offended by my superfluous smiling, or perhaps even thought I was crazy. I grew up in America, where the philosophy I was taught is that you should smile at random people all the time, because you never know when the energy created from your smile could brighten up someone’s day. I have talked to some fellow expats about this issue, and it seems to be something that we all have noticed. One person told me that after several months she began putting on her “German face” whenever she was in public. To me, this is a really sad thing. There are psychological studies that show that smiling can actually MAKE you happier (and the reverse is also true). Some people say that the American “friendliness” is actually superficiality. However, I think that the friendliness that people show in the US, even to random strangers, creates a comfortable atmosphere with positive energy.  I miss that atmosphere.

Of course there are some exceptions to this generality of unfriendliness. These include people who are interested in (or come from) other cultures (for example people who have traveled to countries outside of Europe), and many people who have moved here from other parts of Germany. Also, Sundays. On a Sunday you are free to smile at a stranger on the street and even say hallo, moin, or guten Tag… and they are even likely to return the pleasantry.

2- Health
The attitude toward health here is very different from that in America, which I find very refreshing. One example of this is the health insurance issue. Everyone living in Germany can and does have health insurance. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you …. (haha). And the health insurance is of a much different standard than we are used to in America (for those who are lucky enough to have it, anyways). Generally the insurance companies here basically just do what you would hope/expect an insurance company to do. If you need to go to the doctor or hospital they pay for it. All of it. No copays, or partial payments (generally). This actually results in the whole attitude toward health, and the way that health care professionals act, to be completely different. Hospitals even seem to have a different sort of atmosphere to them.

There is also a much bigger acceptance of homeopathic and holistic medicine. The practitioners are abundant, and aren’t viewed as “witches” as the general impression seems to be in the US. Even among the medical doctors there does not seem to be as much of a focus on pharmaceuticals and covering up medical problems with drugs and surgery, as the case is in the US.  If you are acclimated to the general American “scenery” you will most likely notice the surprising lack of obese people roaming the streets. Don’t get me wrong, the American diet and lifestyle has penetrated Germany and this can be seen, however it is nowhere near the extent that it has reached in America. 

3- Food
This leads me to the issue of food. There is so much that I could say here…. where to begin? First of all, Germans want to know exactly what they’re eating, and all ingredients (including any which may be genetically modified) are required to be listed on the label.  In the US there are thousands of ingredients which don’t have to be legally listed, and if an ingredient must be listed, there are many ways to disguise it on the label. For example you must be on the lookout for over 20 different “code words” which indicate that your product contains MSG (source: http://healthwyze.org/index.php/component/content/article/322-fibromyalgia-the-fda-ignores-an-entire-disease-caused-by-its-approved-excitotoxins-and-remains-silent-about-the-cure.html)!

In Germany eggs are required to be marked with a number indicating the conditions that the chicken lives in. The lower classes of eggs, including those produced by caged chickens that can’t even move around, can’t even be bought in Germany anymore. Many foods which are very commonly bought from supermarkets in the US are completely illegal in Germany. Examples include meat tainted with chemicals and hormones such as Ractopamine and arsenic, milk and dairy products tainted with rBGH (a growth hormone), drinks tainted with Brominated Vegetable Oil, and bread tainted with Potassium Bromate. If Americans knew what products these were in, and knew what detriments these ingredients would cause, we would be smart enough not to want them either.  America needs to wake up and catch up.  (source: http://topinfopost.com/2013/07/10/10-american-foods-that-are-banned-in-other-countries)

Germany really is a land of Wurst (sausage) and meat. It’s not just the stereotype, it’s true (this reminds me of a hilarious pun- "Jokes about Germans are the wurst"...hahaha...). Some of the foods that they eat here (particularly the older traditional meats) would intimidate even a traditional meat eater (although I am vegetarian).  For example, bloodwurst. Yes, sausage made from the blood of slaughtered swine. However, even with their love of meat and sausage Germans are surprisingly more open to vegetarian and other healthy eating than most people that I know in America (of course as mentioned the meat that they eat here is much less chemically and hormonally altered than what we get in America). It is quite common for a German person to appreciate eating one day per week vegetarian, for example. They also appreciate organic food products and markets.

In general I would say that, aside from a few traditional dishes, German cuisine is not particularly noteworthy or well known. The flavors tend to be rather dull in my opinion. The thing that Germany really does well: Bread. Brot. Brötchen.  There is no scarcity of bread in Germany. There is a bakery on seemingly every corner (comparable to a fast food restaurant on every corner in America perhaps?). A typical German breakfast is a table covered in an assortment of bread rolls, an assortment of meats (including mettwurst – a raw-looking minced meat spread onto a roll, topped with raw onions), an assortment of cheeses, and perhaps a slice of cucumber or tomato. Oh, and don’t forget the egg. It may be found hard-boiled and perfectly thinly sliced on top of a breakfast roll, or perhaps the more traditional German way- soft boiled, partially peeled, placed into a special soft-boiled-egg-dish, and eaten with a spoon and lots of salt.

In my experience I have also found that Germans are not particularly open to trying fancy-schmancy new dishes that their palates are not yet accustomed to. On more than one occasion I have brought what I thought was a simple pasta salad to a get-together, only to bring it all home with me.
It is also worth noting that portion size in Germany (or Europe as a whole) is generally smaller than in America. Additionally, there is a prevalence of Turkish food (in response to the prevalence of Turkish people of course) such as the beloved 4 am drunk food: Döner Kebap.

4- Restaurants
When you enter a restaurant in Germany you generally seat yourself.  Also, don’t expect the waiter/waitress to keep coming back to you and asking if everything is alright. Customer service is looked at a bit differently here. A German typically eats with the fork in the left hand and knife in the right. You don’t set either of these utensils down throughout the entire meal. Even if it is pizza or a sandwich, Germans eat with a fork and knife. Also, you must always say “Guten Apetit’ before you take a bite. Germans are also not big fans of ice. You can expect anything that you order to come ice-less.

Tips are not expected as they are in the US. People are paid higher wages and expected tips are not built in to their pay as they are the US. It is usually acceptable to round up the bill to the nearest Euro or two. When you ask them for the bill (they will never just bring it to you without being asked, that would be considered rude) they will bring it and then stand there and wait for you to pay. If you were to leave a tip on the table without giving it to them directly, it would disappear in the abyss.

5- Traditions
I love the fact that Germans have been able to hold on to so many of their traditions (no matter how strange and unnecessary many un-Germans may see them as being). Most of these traditions revolve around the weather or time of year, and around drinking. Also, whatever you do, do NOT celebrate an event before the exact moment that it is considered an event (i.e. saying happy birthday before the minute it is officially your birthday, or holding a baby-shower before the moment that it is absolutely certain that the baby is indeed born).  Here are some of the interesting traditions of which I speak:

Polterabend – “Night of making noise.” Basically right before you get married, a bunch of friends come over to bring you luck by breaking dishes for you to clean up, nailing the bride's shoe to a tree, setting the groom’s pants on fire, and sometimes devising little game-like tests that the couple must pass to prove they are worthy of marrying. It’s actually much more fun than it sounds.

Kohlfahrt – “Cabbage tour.” A group of friends get together on a cold winter day and wander through the streets pulling a wagon full of booze. The participants often wear little shot glasses around their necks and play drinking games. When everyone is drunk and cold enough they approach their final destination: a restaurant, where they dine on the very traditional meal of Kohl and Pinkel (cabbage and a meat concoction containing ingredients that you probably don’t want to identify before you eat it). 

Birthdays – since I come from America- and from a family where you are treated as royalty on your birthday- the birthday traditions here in Germany rub me the wrong way. If you want a party for your birthday, for example, you are expected to throw it yourself and to provide everyone with alcohol, drinks, and snacks, at your own cost. But here’s the kicker: when you turn 30, you are punished if you are not yet married. This punishment is in the form of public humiliation. Manly duties usually involve sweeping some steps in a public location (such as a church or town hall), while friends go behind and trash the cleaned areas again and again so that the job is never finished. Females usually have to polish doorknobs (ironically, no American euphemism intended here). Loving friends often stick the knobs into a jar of something like Nutella, to give the lucky woman something of substance to clean.  The birthday victims can only be relieved from these duties by receiving a kiss from a virgin (and where do you find one of those these days?).

Baby Pinkeln – “Peeing on the baby.” Following the birth of a baby, friends gather together and (surprise!) drink a lot of alcohol. If the parents are not too exhausted then they join.  It is the grandmother’s job to create a potent concoction of alcohol-soaked raisins for the party. The philosophy here seems to be that drinking a lot and having a lot of fun around the baby (in America this would generally be considered a dangerous and irresponsible situation?!?) will help the baby to have a healthy urinary tract for the rest of its life. Well… they’re a pretty healthy bunch – who am I to argue the logic?

Christmastime always involves Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas market), with lots of Glühwein (hot mulled wine, often with a shot of booze added) to stay warm, advent calendars wreaths and candles, and putting shoes out at night on December 5th for Nikolaus to fill with candy and goodies. Christmas is actually a 3 day celebration here, beginning with exchanging gifts and the traditional goose dinner on Christmas eve.

New Year’s Eve is called Silvester in Germany. I’m not sure why or how this name came about. Nonetheless, it is a very beloved holiday here. The necessary traditions include: watching “Dinner For One” (which is interestingly entirely in English) as well as several other old comedy skits, and lighting off fireworks at midnight. Fireworks are absolutely necessary. Cleaning up the debris, however, is apparently completely optional.

There are several (American) Holidays that the Germans leave out of their yearly plan, such as Halloween. I have desperately tried for 2 Halloweens to find people willing to dress up and experience the amazingness of the holiday. Not happening. However, the Germans also add a few extra holidays to the calendar compared to Americans so this area is compensated for. For example, Carnival.

6- Punctuality
Very important: be on time. Not early, not late, but exactly on time. The German railway system however, appears to be a complete exception to this rule. I still haven’t figured out how this paradox can exist: it appears as though everyone in Germany uses public transportation (it’s the responsible thing to do!), and that trains are on time about 5% of the time, yet somehow everyone reaches their destinations exactly on time. Curious.

7- Transportation System
That leads me to point 7. Everyone seems to appreciate the value of the public transportation system, despite its unreliability. And everyone seems to respect the rule and buy a ticket EVERY time they get on, even though the tickets are rarely checked. How very responsible and environmentally conscious of you, Germany! 

8- Bikes
This, in turn, leads me to another point. Germans can BIKE. They bike everywhere, and they do it damn well.  Need a visual? Picture a normal teenager riding for, say 10 consecutive minutes without even touching the handlebars, because his hands are busy both texting and eating a Döner. He pulls up to a bike parking area next to, say, 300 nicely parked bikes outside the train station. Everyday routine. Germans are on bikes essentially from the time they can walk, until the time they can no longer walk (I took a picture the other day of about 150 kids’ bikes outside an elementary school in my town). I regularly see children from approximately age two scooting pedal-less bikes behind their parents as they go for walks. It is also very common to have special lanes on a road, or separated from the roadway, specifically for bikes.

9- Language
This obvious difference cannot go unmentioned. I must assume that everyone in the world has the same stereotypical sound-clip of a German stored somewhere in their brain as I do. And it doesn’t sound pretty. Well, in reality…. yes it sounds exactly as you imagine. True story: several times I have stood back and observed a conversation between my husband and another person, and when it ended I was positive that they were fighting, someone’s life was threatened, we were kicked out, or the cops were about to be called… and it turns out that the person was telling a joke and all parties involved were actually enjoying the conversation. It takes a well-trained ear to decipher between the natural abrasiveness of the language, and an actual angry tone. The language just has some special ability to turn lovely sounding words into scary sounding things. Butterfly……SCHMETTERLING!

Also, I would advise you not to attempt to learn this language for fun. Okay, a little bit is fun… but as soon as you get to the grammatical aspect the world ceases to make sense.  There are 6 different ways to say the word “the” depending on the way it is used. Also, genders are assigned to every noun in a completely nonsensical fashion. Woman – feminine. Okay. Man – masculine. Sure. Boy – masculine. Girl – neutral. Carrot?? Well… if left to my creativity, I could make an assumption… but it would be wrong. It’s Feminine.  Jewelry? Again, wrong. Masculine.

A couple interesting vocabulary notes: In German, there is no specific word for “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” You simply call that person your friend. This seems a bit ambiguous to me and leaves room for some interesting misinterpretations. Many German words look and sound very similar to English words, and many times they have the similar meaning. However, do not rely on this to be a rule. Don’t be intimidated by words like “die” (which simply means the), “Bad” (which means bath), or “Dusche” (which means shower… the full body kind). Germans also have several words in their daily vocabulary which they believe are English. The words themselves seem English, but in fact we would never use them in such a way in English. For example “Handy” for cell phone, “Mobbing” which means bullying, “Beamer” for a projector, and “Partner Look” as a description of a couple who dress alike.

Also, Germans use completely different words when talking to a person formally or informally and it is important to make this distinction right away and use the correct form (the du form or the Sie form). You should generally be formal with anyone with whom you are not close friends or have never met before, however you should always be informal with children. If there wasn’t enough pressure just to be able to speak the language, this rule adds a whole new dimension.

On the positive side of the language issue, I would like to add that Germans are rather talented linguists, especially when compared to Americans. Essentially all Germans are taught English in school. Therefore, even those who will tell you that they don’t speak English most likely have a basic understanding of it (and almost every German will tell you that their English is “bad” and then, when pressured, amaze you by putting together sentences better than many Americans that you know). This could have something to do with the fact that they deal with English on an everyday basis. Many songs on the radio, and even store and product names are in English. Random English words or phrases will appear within a conversation. A few days ago I overheard some older women on a train insert “time is money!” into the middle of their German conversation. I have also heard things such as “An apple a day!” and “Ladies first!”

10 – Booze
America and Germany are nowhere near on the same page with their drinking mentalities. It was less than 100 years ago that America actually made alcohol completely illegal and taboo and Germany has never stopped coming up with new occasions and “reasons” for drinking it. A baby has been born – let’s drink! It’s Oktober – let’s drink! It’s cold outside – let’s go outside and drink! It’s hot outside – let’s go outside and grill and drink! We finished our dinner – let’s drink! However, a good German somehow manages to maintain themselves, behave themselves, and to never appear drunk. Perhaps this stems from the way that drinking is NOT considered a no-no in Germany.

 In America we put teenagers through high school and college and FORBID them to drink alcohol until they are 21. During this time they can drive cars, smoke cigarettes, have babies, or travel overseas and risk their lives to fight for their country, and all is fine and dandy as long as they don’t have a sip of alcohol. Of course, we all know that they will want to do it anyways (perhaps for the simple reason that it is forbidden, or perhaps because they are surrounded with media and people making it appear to be fun, or perhaps simply for the same reason that people have wanted to drink alcohol for the last several thousand years?). The problem is that when they do manage to get hold of some alcohol illegally, they will drink as much of it as they can as fast as they can. They can’t get caught with it, right? In America we raise binge drinkers. In Germany people can buy “soft alcohol” (beer and wine) at age 16, and “hard alcohol” (liquor) at age 18. A parent can buy their child a beer or wine when they are 14 years old (note: this does not mean that a parent can be negligent and get their kid drunk). Teenagers can learn about alcohol, and how to drink responsibly, from a younger age at a slower pace and under supervision. Lots of people have different opinions about it… but from where I’m sitting it appears to work pretty damn well.

On the subject of alcohol I can also add that you can buy alcohol just about anywhere in Germany. Grocery store, corner store, department store, train station… and you can also drink it just about anywhere. Public drinking is not only allowed, but very common. On the street, on the bus/tram/train, occasionally at the workplace, or even in your car while you’re driving (provided that you’re not drunk of course). A friend recently told me that some coworkers threw her a surprise baby shower at her workplace, on her last day. They served shots.

German beers, by the way, are only allowed by law to contain the basic ingredients: water, hops, barley. You will not find specialty brews in Germany. However, you will find several mixtures. You can find beer mixed with lemon-lime soda, or orange soda, or grapefruit, for example. Usually half-half, which obviously reduces the alcohol percentage as well as flavor of the beer. These “beers” are typically chick drinks.

Also, there is no required closing time for bars. They stay open until the fun stops.

Important note: when someone says cheers to you (“prost!”) you must clink the bottom of your glasses/bottles while looking the person directly into the eyes. Failure to make eye contact will result in 7 years of bad sex. Don’t risk it. The average penis size in Germany is ½ inch more than in America ;) (source: http://www.targetmap.com/viewer.aspx?reportId=3073)

11. Products
I have been surprised by some of the items that I cannot find here. Since I love to cook, and had become quite accustomed to American ingredients, the task of finding some of these ingredients has presented itself as quite a challenge. On the bright side, in Germany the price that you see on the tag is the exact price that you will pay at the register. This applies for all things, all the time, because tax is included in the price. What the hell is the sense of all the extra math anyways?

Things I can’t find (or have eventually found but only for an insane price):

Baking Soda. The German version of baking soda is completely different. Your American-style chocolate chips cookies will come out like cookie batter chips.

Chocolate chips or Hershey kisses. This one is not too difficult to deal with because Germans do chocolate excellently and I have resorted to buying chocolate bars and chopping them up.

Chex cereal. The holidays just aren’t the same without Chex Mix (thanks for the addiction mom!)

Hummus. Luckily I can just make my own instead.

Celery, Spinach, Kale – can only be found for limited times at certain times of the year. Anyways, Germans don’t eat celery like Americans do – they use the root of the vegetable much more commonly. And I don’t mean to scare you away… but pizza does not come with wings, which in turn do not come with celery and bleu cheese.

Cheddar cheese. As an update, I have found a store that I can purchase cheddar cheese from the deli at, but it is nowhere near as common as it is in the US. On the other hand, they have about 10 thousand other kinds of cheese here.

Liquid bleach. I actually bought bleach powder the other day… something just didn’t seem right about it.

Vanilla Extract. The more common way to bake with vanilla here is to use “vanillazucker” which is vanilla flavored sugar. It sort of defeats the purpose of trying to bake without sugar. Luckily, you can make this yourself. Or charge visitors from the US a vanilla extract boarding fee.

Ground turkey. Locatable but not easily. Luckily I’ve gotten over this addiction.

Several other items that were on this list have been eliminated thanks to the Asian stores in Bremen. Edamame, Sriracha, and certain spices (like chilli powder) for example.

12- “Things”
I can see much more clearly now how America as a whole is very consumer-oriented. People in America own many, many things. And it seems that they are always looking for the next thing that they are going to buy. Now don’t get me wrong, I realize that there is that one day every year when Americans sit back and do nothing but be thankful for all the things that they have. Yes, I’m talking about the day before Black Friday… when people will scratch and fight and wait in lines starting at 3 am to GET MORE THINGS. To be fair, it’s not entirely our fault, Americans. The media raised us that way.

For some reason, people seem to have fewer “things” in general here. However, the things that they do have seem to be of better quality. This could possibly be attributed to the fact that there is less space in general to keep those things in. However… it could also possibly (I’m going out on a limb here!) be attributed to companies like Walmart who can get people in other countries to make super cheap products for them- at a sacrifice of course for quality and humanity- and then use the media to convince you that these are things that you need. Anyways… enough of my big-business rant. People in Germany have fewer of the less valuable type of possessions than Americans do.

The consequence of this is that when you are in Germany and you want something specific, or something cheap, it can be difficult to find. There is no super-center one-stop-shop. The first time this hit home for me was when I needed to buy contact lens solution. I actually had to go to a pharmacy to find it… and they only had 1 bottle in stock! The next time was when we wanted to buy some camping supplies. Flashlights, sleeping bags, a tent…. you actually have to go to a camping store (or a department store). Germans apparently don’t mind having to stop at a few different stores to accomplish their shopping. Bakery, then butcher, then pharmacy, then grocery store, for example, is completely normal. They have really managed to hold on to their “mom and pop shops” (or “aunt Emma shops” from German).

13 – Quiet time
Germans believe very strongly that people need time to relax. That time is Sunday. It is actually illegal for most businesses to be open at all on a Sunday, so that pretty much leaves you with no choice but to stay home. It also requires you to plan ahead a little bit, because you will not be able to go to a grocery store when you wake up hung over on Sunday with no food in the house. There are only a few Sundays per year that stores can be open as an extra “shopping day.” For example, before Christmas.

In smaller towns and older villages that are more in touch with their roots, there are “quiet hours” every day from approximately 1pm to 3pm. Don’t let anyone catch you doing anything loud -such as having fun or mowing your lawn- during this time. You will receive a stern talking-to… in German… which will without a doubt be intimidating.

14- House shoes
Everyone in Germany has a special pair of shoes reserved for wearing indoors. Very often they are some version of Crocs (I like to call them birth control shoes), or slippers. Sure, people in the US wear slippers too… but we don’t take it nearly as seriously as Germans. They are a necessity here. Very often when you enter a person’s home they will indicate that you should remove your shoes, and they will offer you the use of an extra pair of house shoes that they have sitting nearby just for such an occasion. On the other side, a guest in your home may actually ask you if you have an extra pair for them to wear. For some reason walking around in socks is unthought-of.

15 –Save the Planet!
Nearly every home in Germany contains an elaborate recycling system, which foreigners will need to study and practice for months before they can fully understand and correctly use. Such a strange thing… it’s as if…. they actually care about the environment! There are separate places for glass (which is then further separated by color), paper products, plastic products, ”Bio” waste (compostable), and finally “Restmüll” or whatever garbage is leftover.  Sure we have recycling systems in the US… but do people really recycle to their full potential? Or at all? At one point when I lived in North Carolina we inquired about separating our plastic and glass, and the person at the dump actually told us not to bother because it all got combined when it got to them anyways. Captain Planet must be rolling in his grave….

Recycling bottles is actually made easier by the plastic cases that they come in here (cans are not very common). You simply put the plastic or glass bottle back into the slot of the hard plastic case you bought it in, and bring it back to the store, where you are given cash for them! Some states in the US have bottle and can deposits, but not all, and many people ignore them anyways because the process is dirty and consumes time and space. In Germany a glass bottle is worth 8 cents, and a plastic bottle is worth 25 cents. Homeless people wander the streets and earn their booze money by collecting all the bottles people are too lazy to recycle on their own. Cleaning the streets, earning money, saving the environment: win-win-win.

Germans are also big on other ways of watching out for the environment. Wind mills have basically taken over power production so that there is no need for atomic plants anymore. Also popular are: solar energy, electric and smart cars, public transportation, eliminating plastic bag waste (You have to pay –generally 20 cents - for each bag that you want when you go shopping. You may be familiar with the concept from Aldi. They are also in the process of making one-time-use plastic bags completely illegal.) and any way that a little bit can be saved.

16 – Doors
Don’t step out your front door quickly to grab the mail without your keys in your hand. Doors cannot be opened from the outside without a key. This is in direct contrast to America, where many people don’t EVER lock their doors.  And since the windows are also completely different from American windows (Turn the handle one way and the window will detach on the top and tilt inwards. Turn it another way and it will detach on the side and swing completely inside like a door.) you won’t be able to push one up to crawl inside.  

17 – Driving
I recently, FINALLY, obtained my German driver’s license (By the way, this test is a nightmare. Yes it is mostly multiple choice, however you have no idea how many of the choices may be correct. Is there 1 correct answer? or 2? or all 3?)  However, I’m still not completely comfortable actually driving. And it’s not the Autobahn that intimidates me, as you may be thinking. Some rules are completely different here than they are in America, and I really have to think about everything I do. For example, they do have a “right before left” rule, but it works completely differently than in America. Cars driving on roadways to the right side of you are allowed to pull out in front of you. You actually have to yield at nearly every roadway that you approach. However, to make things more complicated, this is only the case in areas without little signs with yellow squares on them or areas with no signs.  

Also, in an attempt to slow traffic down, the German people have decided that it is a good idea to place random obstacles in roadways. For example, this obstacle is often in the form of a giant pot with a tree in it that you are forced to drive around, or a random spot of grass surrounded by a raised curb. Not only do you have to drive around these protrusions, but usually the remaining space of roadway is not wide enough for 2 cars to fit through at the same time. This often turns into a game of who’s-going-to-stop-chicken.

DO NOT flip a person off while driving in your car. That’s a place where they put their feet down. High and strict fines. Also, if you were to carelessly drive by a person walking on the sidewalk and splash them with water, that person could write down your information and legally demand that you pay for their dry cleaning bill.

For a German, obtaining a driver’s license is a long and expensive process. Generally speaking it takes at least a year and around $2,000, and you can’t start until you turn 18. A CPR/First Aid class is also required (wouldn’t you feel a bit more comfortable knowing that everyone on the road had at least some basic knowledge for emergency situations?). Also, gasoline is around 2-3X more expensive here than it is in the US. Side note: it is rather unusual to see an automatic transmission car here.

It is not common at all to see a police car hiding somewhere radar-gunning cars like a deer hunter. The police generally leave the task of catching and punishing the speeders to radar cameras. If you speed past one of these cameras your photo will automatically be taken and you will receive a letter in the mail with your photo and a calculation of exactly how fast you were going. The courts in Germany are not clogged up with such insignificant matters so you will not attend court. You will simply pay a fine by mail, and if applicable, accept whatever license points may be associated. It’s a pretty hard system to argue with.

18- Traffic lights
While you sit at a red light waiting, the light will momentarily switch to yellow and then to green. I’m not sure exactly of the reasoning here but it is reminiscent of street racing. Also, legal right-on-reds are pretty much nonexistent (unless there are specific signs).

19- Crime & Weapons
Most German people think it’s a bit crazy that just about anyone can obtain a serious weapon like a gun almost instantaneously and without question in America. That’s just not the way that things work in their country. Not many people are allowed to have guns. Only those who are are extensively trained, such as police officers and hunters (it’s not an easy process to get a hunting license here). German people seem to care very much about safety. They want to feel secure. In general, I would say that it seems to work. Bremen is a reasonably large city, and for the most part I don’t feel intimidated to walk around after dark (and this is coming from a country girl). Of course, there are crazy and weird and dangerous people everywhere, so there is always risk. However, at least Germans can feel relatively comfortable that they will probably not end up face to face with a firearm in their travels.

This has an interesting effect on suicide in this country. Of course not having a gun does not make a determined person any less willing to do something about the “problem” that they are alive. Obviously they can’t turn to guns for a simple solution… so what is the next most simple? As strange as it seems to me… there seems to be an awful lot of jumping in front of trains going on here. Perhaps I have an altered perspective because my husband is a paramedic who has to go scrape these bodies off the tracks, or perhaps I am simply not acclimated to this method of death since I grew up in a country area where train travel wasn’t common. Either way, this is an uneasy observation (so I just thought I should pass it on to you!!).

The lack of guns seems to have the direct effect of lowering crime rates. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to express an opinion about gun control here. What works for one country may not work for the next…. however…. something they did seems to be working. Let’s compare some statistics (source: http://www.civitas.org.uk/crime/crime_stats_oecdjan2012.pdf). Per 100,000 people, how many cases of attempted homicide are there in each country? US: 5, Germany: 0.8. How many cases of rape? US: 28.6, Germany 8.9. Robbery? US: 133, Germany: 60. There are some big differences there. On the other hand, I’d also like to mention the statistics about assault. US: 262, Germany: 630. Judging by these statistics it appears to me as though people in Germany fight each other, but not so much kill or rape or rob each other.  Interesting stuff… I’ll leave you to interpret the statistics as you will.

As far as drug problems go, I don’t have much insight into this problem. However, I can say that Germany has no idea what bath salts are, and I’ll take that as a positive.

20 – Lines
Man oh man does this one irritate me. Germans tend to be very polite and socially obedient. I have no idea how they missed the social obedience lesson on how LINES should function (interesting note: lines are called Schlangen in German which translates to snakes). This drives me absolutely crazy and if I spoke the language better I would have most definitely initiated a strong “debate” about this issue many-a-time in supermarkets already. In the US we have an unspoken but well known system: when a new cashier opens their register, the people who have been waiting the longest are entitled to be the first in that line (assuming of course that you don’t already have all of your items on the conveyer belt). First come, first serve. This phrase seems to have a completely different meaning in Germany. Just tonight I was in a line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me was purchasing a month’s worth of groceries, and I had one item in my hand. Eventually a man showed up behind me with a few items in his hands. The next cash register opened up and said “Next please!” and the man ran right over there, feeling perfectly entitled to the “next” position. This example is not as extreme as those I have seen in the past. There could be 10 people behind you in line, and you could have been waiting there ½ hour, and the German way is that whoever makes it first to the newly opened register has the right to be there and somehow not feel like a complete schmuck for budging. “First come, first serve” in Germany means that if you make it there first, you get it. Regardless of how long you have been waiting. Some of the situations I find myself in really make me wonder how a similar situation would go over in America. But I really believe there would be a throw down. American’s don’t stand for that sort of business.

21 – Work vs. Life
In America, we live to work. In Germany, people work to live. In Germany they really seem to understand that there should be a balance between work and personal life. Compared to America, Germans have an insane amount of time off. And miraculously, they are able to accomplish an enormous amount in the time that they work (I assume you all know about Porsche, Mercedes, Volkswagon, BMW, and Siemens as examples).  Germans love taking vacations. Every year (crazy, right!?). They look forward to and plan the trip, and then they have a chance to relax from their stressful work life while they are on the trip, which usually lasts longer than a week (otherwise, what would be the sense in going?). Americans are not able to do this. “America is the only developed country in the world without a single legally required paid vacation day or holiday” (source: http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2013/06/08/countries-most-vacation-days/2400193/). In Germany, like most of Europe, employees receive about 4 weeks of PAID vacation. They recognize the fact that humans need to have some time to de-stress from their hectic work life. It makes sense for the country to do this because healthy people do better work. How do we miss that in America and still survive? At least in my own life, I can very obviously see how badly people in the US are suffering from this.

As a result, Germans in general seem to love to travel. Europe is quite easy to navigate, and many Germans take up this opportunity. In America, it seems that most people feel that there is absolutely no need to travel outside the country. The majority of Americans have never even stepped foot outside of their own country (even though there are 2 that are directly attached to theirs) and don’t even own a passport (I recently heard a statistic that more people in the US own a Michael Jackson CD than a passport.....really!?). They feel no need to see other lands or cultures or get an idea of how the rest of the work functions. Or perhaps people would like to do this kind of exploration, but they are so boxed in by their strict work schedules that they are never afforded the opportunity. Either way, it is quite sad to me.  We should live to LIVE, not live to work.  Life (and health) should be priority.

22- Water
In contrast to Americans, Germans like their water full of carbonation. If you order water in a restaurant, this is typically what you’ll get. Even if you would specifically order still water in a restaurant, you’d have to pay for it. Ironically Germany has an abundance of clean drinking (tap) water that they simply don’t drink. Because it doesn’t have bubbles.

23- Kids
A huge percentage of German adults choose not to have children. This is a problem for the country. The native German human is on the verge of becoming an endangered species!!! Okay, a little exaggeration there… but really, about ¼ of the population in Germany are immigrants, and the immigrants seem to be the only ones who want to have babies (and lots of them!!). Ironically…. the government actually gives out “Kindergeld” to people who have children (one of the few countries that do such a thing). Germany cannot even bribe Germans into having babies. I don’t know that much about specifics but as a general figure you could guess that a person receives $250 per child per month

On the note of having children, America is one of the only countries in which companies are not required to give any paid maternity leave at all. In Germany the parental leave available is unbelievably great. They expect a person to take at least 1 or 2 years off upon the birth of a child. And they want the parent to receive money during that time. Imagine that... a country that wants to pay its citizens to stay home for a while and put some effort into successfully raising new citizens…

24- Plan EVERYTHING
Germans plan everything. I thought I was a planner, but it’s actually a bit extreme here. The moment my husband and I announced that we were engaged his family wanted to know the address and dates of where to book their flights to. Oh… and congrats!!

The filing system in Germany however, drives me crazy. You cannot find a filing cabinet, or even the files that would go inside such a cabinet. Instead, everything here is stored in binders. Which leads me to another point: the size of a sheet of paper is completely different here. German paper is a bit skinnier and a bit taller than American paper (is it possible that people simply grow in resemblance to the paper?). Oh the things one takes for granted….

25- Space
As is the case in many European countries, space is appreciated and well-used. Bigger is not necessarily better. Roads and parking spaces are smaller, but the cars are also smaller so it works. I’ve been to villages in the mountains where I swear neighbors could reach out of their second story window and give high-fives to each other, over the road. Some people who live in cities actually rent garden space within the city to be able to plant some veggies. They don’t waste space around here.

26- Public Property
I was a bit confused and apprehensive the first several times we took the dog for a walk here. Basically, you can drive to just about anywhere where you see a field or woods… and simply start walking. Everyone does this. And it’s perfectly legal. Farmers’ fields are perfect places to stop for a walk. If there is no sign (and I don’t know if I have ever seen such a sign) then you are free to walk about as you please. I still feel unsure when I do it… as if some American farmer is going to step out with a gun.

27- Dogs              
Aaaannndd speaking of dogs, Germany has a much greater acceptance of them than where I came from in the US. It is very common to see dogs in trains, trams, restaurants, or shops. A bit opposite to America, if there is no sign you can assume that you CAN take your dog inside. Also, a new law has been passed that requires people who own a dog to take a class to learn how to properly take care of dogs.

28- Pedestrians
That little green light that tells you when it’s safe to walk across the street (has anyone in America ever noticed one of these lights?) is taken very, very seriously.  In the course of learning this lesson in Germany, if you are lucky enough to avoid a broken pelvis (unlike me), you will most certainly be subject to mean glares and scolding from angry elderly Germans every time you fail to wait those extra few seconds for the green light.

29- Cancer Sticks                                                         
It seems as though everyone in Germany smokes cigarettes. The movements to stop the habit don’t seem to be as strong as what’s going on in the US. One German person that I spoke to actually told me that he would love to visit the US, but that the main thing holding him back was his intimidation by the cigarette laws. He was afraid of getting to the US and not being able to find a place that he was allowed to smoke, or that people would give him mean and dirty looks for smoking. It’s really strange to me that people see the US that way… but when I walk down the streets in the city here I can smell just how much Germans LOVE their cigarettes.

30- What is Germany Made of?
It’s difficult to describe the feeling of the surroundings when you’re in Germany, and how they’re different from the US. Personally I would describe it as a feeling of history, if that makes any sense. It amazes me to look at buildings that have been standing for…say 500 years. To think about everything that it survived and what people standing in the same exact spot as me were doing and thinking 50 or 100 years… or one or 2 or 3 millenniums ago. The history is great (and sad at times, of course).

With the historical architecture aside, buildings in Germany are actually made of different materials than those in the US. I haven’t seen a piece of sheetrock since I’ve been here. Everything is concrete and rock. Even the shingles on the roof are some sort of clay or ceramic or rock (I was recently informed that roof shingles are not attached to the building, but deliberately placed on unattached so that during a heavy storm they will fly off and not take the entire roof with them). I actually have a bit of experience in general construction in the US… and Germany just leaves me clueless. I didn’t even know how to go about hanging a picture on the wall.

Now let’s go into a few details of the houses or apartments themselves. First of all, every room in Germany has a door. And the Germans open and close the doors very often. In my first apartment in Germany, I think only about a month went by before I lifted the damn kitchen door up off the hinges and got it the hell out of the room and out of my way. 

When you rent an apartment in Germany you can expect that there will be no kitchen appliances or counters or cupboards. Also there will be zero closets, and light fixtures. That’s just completely normal here. It is also completely normal that the bathroom contains a tub and a shower, completely separate from each other (I thought they were trying to save space!?). Our first apartment had a normal bathroom (with shower, bath, toilet, and sink) and a guest bathroom (with a sink and a toilet). The light switch was on the outside of the room, and once the light was on for 2 minutes a fan would automatically come on. I liked to tell guests that the room was equipped with a shit-detector. If you start to take a shit… a fan will automatically come on. I liked the effect of nervousness that it had on people. :)

If you want to go to the bathroom in a public place then you will have to pay. This is common even at bars, stores, and sometimes restaurants. There is either an entry fee, or a bathroom attendant that will be expecting a tip. Because I’m a very cheap person, this causes me to pee a lot less. On the bright side, you can always expect that your restroom experience will be a clean one.

Don’t be confused when you want to go visit a toilet on the 1st floor of the building. The English version of first floor is actually considered the ground floor in Germany. The next floor up would be considered the first floor. Lots of room for confusion and getting lost there…

The streets in most villages or towns or cities in Germany are cobblestone.  Annoying to drive across, but they really create a nice quaint village feel and look.

31 – Hosts
As soon as you walk through the door of a German’s home they automatically offer you a drink. That seems to be considered the most hospitable thing you can do for a guest in Germany (whether they are visiting for 10 minutes, 10 hours or 10 days).

32 – Safety
German people care very much about their safety. Because of this there are approximately 1,000 different types of insurance that you can buy. Health insurance is mandatory of course, but you can also purchase lots of different supplemental kinds. In addition to those pertaining to your health, for example, you can purchase theft insurance, damage insurance (in case you accidentally damage another person’s property), additional retirement insurance, disability insurance, or insurance pertaining to different types of weather. People here rely on and appreciate their insurance, feel that they are much safer and worry-free with it, and cannot understand why other people would not want their lives to work the same way.

There is also an obvious lack in harmful wildlife in this country that coincidentally seems to align perfectly with their need to feel secure and safe. No need to fear snakes, spiders, wildlife, health problems, crime... what is left?

33 – Bottle opener
To be a true German you must be able to open a bottle of beer with essentially any object. There are no wimpy twist tops. I have seen bottles opened with sidewalk curbs, lighters, keys, spoons, (those are all EASY of course) and even newspapers.

34- Sexuality
Germans are not shy in this arena. First of all, prostitution is legal, as it is in most places outside of the US borders. This allows for people to do the things they would inevitably do anyways with much less risk of disease and other problems. When everything is out in the open, the people in this profession can be much safer because they are tested, and because they don’t have to be sneaking around. Believe it or not, people seem to turn out OKAY even when they are faced with the possible option of legally having sex whenever they want.

Another very interesting point is that of nudity. Germans (or perhaps Europeans in general?) are refreshingly open about not having any clothes on. To the point where a person might come downstairs in the morning and make coffee au natural, regardless of who may be present, without a care in the world. My first visit to a sauna in Germany was quite an experience. There was no clothing allowed. There was no regard to a person’s age or sex or anything else. Just don’t bring anything else in except yourself and a towel to sit on. My husband told me that his family visited nude beaches when he was a child. When they pulled up his parents would strip down and basically say… “Hey… strip, or sit in the car.” I find this openness very realistic and refreshing. I also imagine that such an openness would create a much more positive self-image and self-acceptance in young people than what we foster in the US.

35 – Education
I wish that I knew in high school what I know now. I certainly wouldn’t have wasted so much money studying in America, when studying in Germany would have actually been cheaper and given me a chance to learn and experience so much more. It costs around $300-350 to study at University of Bremen for ½ a year. I am still in debt to the American government for the education that I received there years ago.

Apprenticeships are very common in Germany. It is also very common that a person first finds a company that they want to work for, and THEN they go to school to learn what that company wants them to learn. When a person finishes their education in Germany they already have some on-the-job training and are very knowledgeable and employable. I feel that in general the American education system does not actually prepare you to work.

The pre-college education system is also completely different. All children attend the same school until 4th grade. At that time a decision is made as to which of three paths the child should take for the remainder of their education. The most promising pupils are sent to the highest level – Gymnasium. The next level is Realschule (which ends a couple years before Gymnasium), and the lowest level is Hauptschule which students finish at the 9th grade. Only people who go to and complete Gymnasium are allowed to attend Universities. People who attend the other two levels of school typically start a job training when they finish. Therefore, your future is pretty much decided for you by the time you are 10 years old.


This “Journal of Thoughts and Observations” is still a piece of work, in work.  I have no doubt that new interesting observations and ideas will continue to cross my path on a daily or weekly basis. Also, I would love to hear comments or feedback about the topics I have or have not written about. Whether you agree, disagree, or simply wonder, intelligent discussion and debate most certainly only helped and never hurt anyone. :)